Listen To Your Heart
by Jade-Max
Summary: PG. Darien and Serena - a different way the nightmare portion could have ended


Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; I'm just borrowing them.  
  
Disclaimer 2: "Listen to your Heart" is by Roxette; I'm just using the lyrics to write a story, they don't belong to me.   
  
This story, however, does belong to me.  
  
Listen To Your Heart  
  
By Jade_Max  
  
Dark clouds rolled across the brilliant full moon, casting shadows across the sleeping city of Tokyo. The Silver beams hit and then faded, bathing the city in a rippling silver glow. For all the fading of the moonlight, it touched one window almost constantly, sliding through the panes to shine on the occupant sleeping in the bed.  
  
Long blonde tresses with little pink bows lay messily across the pillows and bed, underneath the young woman who lay there. She tossed and turned, twisting the covers around her body and kicking them off her feet. Her name was Tuskino Usagi, a junior high school student that was going through one of the most difficult periods in her young life.  
  
At 2 am she should have been sleeping peacefully, dreaming of pink bunny rabbits and meadows filled with unicorns. For the last week, however, she hadn't been sleeping well at all. Her boyfriend, her soul mate, had broken up with her without explanation, turning her dreams into a muddled mess...  
  
-I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eye...-  
  
Then landscape of her dream was always similar. They crystal blue lake surrounded by the vibrant greens of a park in spring. The ducks and swans swam lazily on the surface of the lake, honking and quacking at each other. In the woods, squirrels chattered nosily in the boughs of the trees.  
  
Usagi looked around, a smile playing across her lips as she took in the familiar setting. Her dreams tended to take her to her favorite place in all of Tokyo. The Central Park. This was one of her private dreams, where nothing could enter or interfere, normally. No one but she ever came here. Her gaze traveled around the pristeen park, the sun shining brightly in the sky. The flowers were in bloom and the scent of roses was heavy in the air. Her gaze traveled around the park, going to the docks leading out on the lake, and she frowned as it settled on a strange figure. They were sitting on the end of the dock, trailing their bare feet in the water.  
  
The glare of the sun prevented Usagi from making a positive identification of the person and she quickly walked towards them, her bare feet making no sound as she stepped onto the wooden planking. "Excuse me?" she asked hesitantly.  
  
The figure was dressed in black slacks and a black collared shirt. The muscular build suggested that the figure was male, and as he turned, Usagi's eyes noticed the raven black hair that curled back over the collar of his shirt. His defined features came into her gaze and she felt dizzy. Her breath caught in her lungs, "Mamo-chan." She breathed. He was so absolutely gorgeous. His unruly bangs fell into deep cyan colored eyes as his gaze met hers, and he smiled.  
  
Usagi reached out to grasp the pilling nearest to her for support as his knee-shaking smile hit her full force. She felt her knees go weak, her breathing shorten and her heart begin to pound erratically. Her palms dampened and she licked her lips as her mouth went dry. She didn't drop her gaze from his as she usually did when feeling the force of his looks and caught a shadow of some strange emotion in his eyes. She blinked, taking a deep breath as she steadied herself and took a step forward, "Mamo-chan?" she questioned, her eyes betraying her nervousness.  
  
He rose to his feet, never taking his gaze off her. "Usako." His gaze held his love for her and his smile told her he was happy to see her. His voice held all of his feelings for her.  
  
-You've built a love, but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns to dark...-  
  
She started to take a step towards him but his gaze suddenly darkened and a mask of anger fell over his eyes. A sudden chill swept over her as a strong breeze ran through the park, carrying dark storm clouds over the sun. She looked at him, tears filling her eyes as the last expression she'd seen on his face fell over it. One of absolute disgust and anger.  
  
"I can't ever see you again, Odango." His voice was harsh as he talked to her, "We're through, stop bothering me!"  
  
"Mamo-chan! No!" she cried, the shock and betrayl of the day he'd broken up with her coming back. She felt the despair curl inside her and explode in a sudden wash of tears as a cold, icy rain began to fall. "You can't mean that!" she sobbed. His face and eyes betrayed nothing and she turned and bolted away from him as fast as her legs could carry her.  
  
-Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do...-  
  
  
  
She tore through the woods, suddenly dressed in her Sailor Moon outfit. Twigs tore at her hair and clothes, snapping back to leave welts on her delicate skin. She heard her skirt and body suit tear as she ran through a briar patch but paid no mind to the scratches she'd just received. The cold rain pelted her with icy drops. They penetrated her clothes and skin like needles and still she ran on. Her boots were punctured as she stepped on sharp rocks and twigs, bloodying her feet as she ran. Finally she tripped over a root and went sprawling, face first.  
  
She curled up on her side, sobbing.   
  
"Sailor Moon!" the harsh voice rang through her and she cringed, not looking up.  
  
"Go away," she begged, her eyes closed as she hugged her knees. She knew she must look awful with her torn outfit, skin showing through where it should have been covered and her tattered skirt. Unknown to her there was blood running down her side from a particularly nasty cut. She felt numb, as if her soul was dying and her heart was breaking all over again.  
  
"You have to be stronger than that, Sailor Moon," came the harsh reminder. She flinched again as he continued, "I can't keep coming to your rescue, one day you're going to end up having to take care of yourself. Get up. You're being a cry baby."  
  
Sailor Moon flinched again, as if he'd struck her, her eyes opening to look at him. Tuxedo Mask stood about ten paces away, his hands clenched, his brow furrowed. The white mask on his face hid his eyes from her gaze and she saw only anger in his posture. The rain seemed not to touch him.  
  
-I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why, but listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye...-  
  
Sailor Moon glared at him, "I hate you!" she screamed, tears mixing with the rain that ran in streams down her cheeks. "I hate you..." she broke down into sobbing again, her words lacking conviction.  
  
He didn't even budge at her words, "As it should be," he turned and walked away from her.  
  
"Mamo-chan," she said brokenly, "You can't mean that. I don't hate you, please, come back... I know you still love me, why are you doing this...?" She didn't even notice when the rain stopped. She continued to stare after him. Finally she pushed herself to her feet, swiping at her eyes as a shudder ran through her again. The cold was catching up to her as she started off after him. Her pace determined, "I'm not letting you go, Mamo-chan. Not without a fight..." She began to run back, finding herself taking so much longer to get back to him...  
  
-Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea...-  
  
Usagi woke with a start, sitting bolt upright in bed. Her chest heaved as if she'd just run a marathon. She threw off her covers and set her feet on the floor, feeling the carpet between her toes. Something compelled her to make her way, quietly, downstairs and grab her coat. She paused long enough to slip her feet into a pair of her shoes and then quickly left the house.  
  
She shrugged into her jacket as she ran, her pink pj's flapping around her ankles and wrists. She was unsure of her destination, but she continued to run, letting her feet, and her heart, guide her steps.   
  
The faint light of the moon sparkled on Tokyo's Central Park, bathing it in a silver glow. The lake glittered silver, sparkling like a gem in the night. She slowed and continued slowly, wondering why she'd felt the uncontrollable urge to come here. A deep male voice lent pause to her step as she registered exactly who it was. The smell of the roses was nearly overpowering, but in a good way, as she advanced slowly into the rose garden. She shivered as a breeze swirled around her and penetrated her light jacket. She would know that voice anywhere. She paused a few feet from him; this was the closest she'd been to him in days and it was almost painful. Her Mamo-chan.  
  
"Why? Why is nothing ever easy?" he asked no one in particular, his voice low. He sounded distinctly close to tears.  
  
Usagi stepped from around the bush she was behind and into view. She was unable to help herself, needing to see him unobstructed. Needing to feel his arms around her. She needed to know he still thought about her. A solitary tear trailed down her cheek as his head came up. She saw a mix of longing, hope, love and amazement for a split second. She reached one hand towards him in a mute plea as he shuttered off the emotions and presented her with the mask he'd been wearing the last week. "Mamo-chan..." she said softly, her voice breaking.  
  
He looked at her as he got up to leave. He turned his back to her as he started to walk away.  
  
"Wait! Please." She cried as he turned to go.  
  
"Go home, Usa," he told her, his voice still low. She thought she heard a note of pain but couldn't be sure, "I have nothing to say to you."  
  
Usagi choked back an anguished cry, her eyes filling with moisture, "Mamo-chan, I know you don't want to see me and you think that I'm a child but please, if you have nothing to say to me, then at least listen to what I have to say to you. You owe me that much."  
  
"I owe you nothing."  
  
  
  
She flinched, his harsh reply caused her to reach out and grasp the bush she was standing next to for support. It was as if he'd driven a knife through her heart and shattered it completely. She couldn't back down though, not this close. She had to tell him. She choked on the words, but managed to get them out. "You're wrong. The hell you have put me through the last week makes you owe me something. All I'm asking for is ten minutes of your time. More than you ever granted me."  
  
His hands clenched and she didn't see the tears in his eyes with his back to her. She couldn't have known it, but her words struck home and he flinched. "I already told you; I owe you nothing. If you've been through hell the last week, it's been of your own making. I'm not responsible for how you feel. Just leave me alone!" he walked away from her, leaving his harsh words as her only companions.  
  
Usagi watched him leave, completely numb. As he passed out of her view she collapsed to the ground, her shaking knees unable to support her weight any longer. "Why are you doing this to me? To us?" she asked herself brokenly, her eyes on the place where he'd disappeared. The chill bite and whisper of the wind was her only response.  
  
-They're swept away, and nothing is what it seems. The feeling of belonging, to your dreams...-  
  
*One week later, next Friday*  
  
Usagi walked slowly home from school. The last two weeks had been pure hell. Her eyes were sunken in her head and showed none of the usual vitality and life they normally did. Dark circles under her eyes told the story of her lack of sleep and lent her a haggard look. Her face was gaunt and thin, her cheekbones starting to become more prominent. She hadn't been eating well and as a result her clothes were hanging off her body. Her pigtails drooped on either side of her head, the normal sunshine gold tresses having faded to a wheat color. Her brilliant blue eyes were now dull and lifeless. She had taken to pinning the back and front of her skirt to her underwear to make sure it didn't fall off.   
  
In the last week she'd been to school early every morning, to avoid having to see her mother and have to answer questions. She'd finished all of her assignments, though not with the best of marks, and had failed every test. Today her teacher had let her sit in her first class and then had sent her home early (it was only about 10am) because of her appearance. She had strict instructions from her teacher not to come back to class until she had lost the circles under her eyes.  
  
Usagi stopped briefly on her way home from school, her eyes on her feet. She felt slightly faint, a familiar feeling that was almost constantly with her these days. With her diminishing appetite and lack of interest in just about anything, it was expected. The sun beat down on her; drawing moisture from her already moisture deprived body. She continued towards home and made it only halfway down the block before pausing again. She looked up and found herself in front of the crown arcade. She stumbled inside, taking the booth nearest the door, and put her head on the table, folding her hands so that she didn't end up with her forehead on the hard surface.  
  
"Usagi? You alright?"  
  
She lifted her head with an effort, feeling the beginning of a headache start behind her temples. She focused her blurring vision on the speaker. If the sudden widening of his eyes and the sharp intake of breath were any indication, she looked as bad as she feared. "I'm alright, Motoki." She lied softly, her speech slightly slurred.  
  
Motoki sat across from her, brushing his blonde bangs out of his eyes, "What's the matter?" he asked, not believing her.  
  
Tears welled in her eyes as she looked at him. The world began to tilt on its axis and spin. She opened her mouth to reply and, suddenly, felt like she was falling, her vision going black...  
  
-Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why. Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye...-  
  
Usagi regained consciousness to a damp cloth resting on her forehead and voices, familiar voices, arguing in low tones. One was Motoki's, the other sounded like Mamoru's, but that couldn't possibly be, could it?  
  
"I'm telling you, she just passed out on the bench across from me! Gave me the scare of my life. She looks horrible, I don't know what's wrong with her."  
  
Usagi frowned, her eyes still closed, 'Thanks for boosting a girls' confidence, Motoki,' she thought peevishly.  
  
"Are you sure she didn't say anything to you, Motoki? Not a hint as to what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm positive. Lately she just hasn't said much at all. I'm worried about her, Mamoru, she's not been herself for a while."  
  
'Guess it is Mamoru, but why's he so concerned?' she askd herself, listening to their conversation.  
  
There was a sigh, "I'm afraid that's probably my fault."  
  
Motoki laughed, "You sure you're not giving yourself too much credit here, Mamoru? How can this be your fault? You feeling well?"  
  
"I'm dead serious, Motoki. Usak... er... Usagi and I were dating for a while there without anyone else's knowledge. I broke it off with her two weeks ago. She looks about as bad as I feel. Everytime I see her I've got to be cruel to her... No, don't say anything yet, alright? I've wanted to tell you forever and I need to. This is killing me, Motoki."  
  
Usagi frowned. The pain in his voice was real, uncensored. If what he was about to say was true, she would finally have an answer to why he had dumped her so suddenly. 'You still love me, Mamo-chan, I know you do. Just tell Motoki and I can go back to living a normal life.' She begged him silently.  
  
There was a pause and then Mamoru continued. "Thanks, you're a pal Motoki. Well, I can't tell you everything but I'll try and make this make sense. Two weeks ago I received a very... powerful warning that if I'm around Usa, I'm putting her life in danger. Ever since I've had to try and keep her away from me. It's tearing me apart to be so cruel to her but if I'm not she could die. I'd rather live without her and know she's safe than live with her and live in fear for her life. I've been so cruel to her, though, I don't know if she'll ever forgive me."  
  
-And there are voices, that want to be heard...-  
  
Usagi felt tears in her eyes at his admission to his friend. The despair and hopelessness in his voice cut her to the quick and she prayed that it was the real explanation behind his cruelty. She could forgive him for wanting to protect her. She prayed she wasn't dreaming.  
  
"Anyway, take care of her alright? I've got to be going."  
  
"See ya Mamoru."  
  
"Later Motoki."  
  
Usagi groaned as she moved, hearing a door close somewhere. She opened her eyes to find Motoki sitting next to where she was. She looked at him, tears forming in her eyes again.  
  
Motoki spoke before she could, "Mamoru came to check on you. You're dehydrated, and lacking sleep, but you should be fine once you've got something to drink." He told her softly.  
  
"Is that really why he's being so mean to me, Motoki?" she asked, begging him with her eyes to confirm her suspicions, "Because he feels he has to protect me?"   
  
Motoki brushed her bangs out of her eyes, smiling kindly. His eyes seemed to hold some pain for his two friends, "So it would seem."  
  
Usagi left the arcade a few minutes later, a huge drink in hand. Motoki had insisted she drink a lot of water before he let her leave and even as she left had pressed a drink into her hand. She ran, searching for Mamoru as if her life depended on it. She berated herself as she ran, 'I should have know...' everything had pointed to his wanting to protect her. It explained why he still came to her rescue as Tuxedo Mask. It also explained why he couldn't stand to be around her for more than a couple of minutes. 'Why didn't I see this before?' she asked herself. She knew the answer. She'd been too blind with the grief of losing him to notice. Thinking clearly for the first time in days, she searched frantically.  
  
She entered the park, the same one she'd run across him in the week before and headed towards the rose garden. She approached, seeing a figure sitting on a bench in the distance. From his posture he looked hopeless, dejected. He had his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. Even at this distance Usagi could tell his fingers were grasping his hair tightly, the spiky strands sticking up between the gaps of his fingers. "Mamoru!" she shouted, to get his attention as she ran towards him.  
  
He lifted his head as she drew near, getting to his feet. She saw him wince as he took in her appearance but it didn't deter her. She knew she looked horrible, and it was partially his responsibility. She slowed her pace until she was walking towards him and stopped a couple of feet away.  
  
-So much to say, but you can't find the words...-  
  
She stared at him, taking in his features as if for the first time. His raven bangs fell into his deep cyan eyes, shielding them slightly from her view. She noticed the worry lines around his eyes, and the strain in his face. His face, the prominent cheek bones, the straight nose, the firm lips. Everything hit her senses like a summer breeze, calming her and lending her strength. She noticed he looked at her without the mask on his features for the first time in two weeks. The lines of strain and worry bracketing his mouth deepened as he frowned and looked back at her.  
  
Usagi opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She wanted to ask him about the warning he'd received, needed to know if he still really loved her. She knew he still cared for her and she needed an explanation, a better one, than he had given Motoki. She shut her mouth, wanting to say and ask so many thing but unable to force them past a sudden lump in her throat. They stayed that way, eyes locked, two feet separating them, for a good five minutes.  
  
Usagi raised her drink to her lips and drained it. She lowered it from her mouth, licking her lips and finally opened her mouth again. A low, ragged, "Why?" was the only thing that came out.  
  
Mamoru flinched as if he's been physically struck by her question. His eyes showed her the pain and desperation he'd been fighting and living with the past two weeks. He could say nothing as he started into her light, summer sky blue eyes. He swallowed and slowly, ever so slowly, raised his arms to her, as if in invitation.  
  
-The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind...-  
  
Usagi sobbed once, the sound being torn from abused lungs as she lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest. She inhaled sharply as his arms folded around her, holding her close. She felt herself being drawn flush up against him and tightened her hold on him. She felt tears stream down her face, soaking his shirt, as she sobbed in his arms, relishing the feel of having his arms around her once more. She raised her face so that she could look up at him. She saw tears brimming in his eyes. She reached up with one hand to curl her fingers around the back of his neck and applied a bit of pressure. Tears continued to snake down her face as she begged him with her eyes.  
  
Mamoru leaned his head down, closing his eyes as she closed hers and settled his lips onto hers. She tasted like sunshine after a storm. A pure mountain stream direct from the ice caps. Her kiss was like water to the dying man and Mamoru kissed her hungrily, as if his life depended on it.  
  
Usagi returned his kiss, taking more from it then she thought possible. She drank in his scent, the muskiness of dried roses and the sweet smell of roses just blooming. He tasted of darkness and chocolate: the refreshing taste of rain falling from storm clouds, revitalizing a dying plant. They remained locked together as one, the sun shining down on them. Her cup slipped from nerveless fingers as she flattened her hand in the middle of his back. Her fingers grasped his jacket, pulling her even closer than before.  
  
-Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why. Listen to your heart, before you tell him goodbye...-  
  
Usagi felt herself being pulled deep into the kiss as he deepened the kiss. She felt his passion explode inside her as his tongue plunged into her mouth. She moaned under the assault, opening her mouth beneath his and moving her tongue against his. She felt his grip tighten as her knees gave out, and he held her up by her shoulders and waist.   
  
They sank to the ground, locked in their embrace, Mamoru going to his knees as Usagi clung to him, kissing him back with all of her pent up frustration and passion. Usagi nipped at his tongue, feeling her way through the motions instead of thinking, letting her gut, and her heart, guide her actions.  
  
-Listen to your heart...(Take a listen to it) when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart (take a listen to it) there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going, and I don't know why. Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye...-  
  
Mamoru pulled away from her lips, breathing raggedly as he buried his face in the curve of her neck. Usagi was trembling with the power of the kiss. It had completely shaken her and she raised one hand before her eyes, seeing it shaking violently. She moved it back to curve around his neck and gently, hesitantly, stroked his black hair, her eyes closing. She felt him plant a soft kiss in the curve of her neck and let her head fall back as if the weight was too much for her to hold up. He kissed his way up her neck, nipping her gently right below her ear and felt her body shiver in his grasp with pleasure.  
  
"I'm sorry, so sorry my Usako." He told her softly, whispering into her ear, "I never meant to hurt you."  
  
She opened her eyes; her lids feeling suddenly very heavy as she slowly straightened her head to look into his eyes, "I forgive you." She said softly, her voice choked.  
  
-(Listen to your heart) Oh, take a Listen to it! (listen to your heart)...-  
  
Mamoru hugged her tightly, "I love you, Usako." He told her brokenly, "I never stopped. I'm so sorry I listened to that dream, I never wanted to hurt you like this."  
  
She hugged him tightly, his words washing over her like a warm summer breeze, taking away the pain she'd been feeling. "Tell me." She said, her voice low. She was holding him, and he was holding her... nothing he could say now would ever hurt her again while she was in his arms.  
  
Mamoru leaned back, folding his legs underneath him and pulled her into his arms, cradling her like a child as he sat between three rose bushes, dragging the both of them off the worn path. "I have had a dream, even night for the past two weeks. It's our wedding day and you look absolutely gorgeous." Her hands laced together with his as he spoke. She leaned back against him, crossing his arms around her and hugging herself with his, and her, arms. He continued to talk, hugging her tightly as if he needed to feel her close, "It's such a happy day but then everything shatters and the world falls to pieces.   
  
You're torn from my arms..." his arms tightened again, with bruising force, as he rested his head at the base of her neck, his whole body shaking, seeing something she could not.  
  
She turned her head and planted a sweet, gentle kiss on his cheek, "Take your time, my love. I'm not going anywhere."  
  
He rocked her back and forth in his arms, drawing strength from her presence and took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and continued, "I hear this voice telling me to stay away from you. Every night it's the same thing. You're torn away from me, by an something or someone I can't see, and you're screaming. The horrible screaming." His whole body shuddered, "And every night I get the same warning as you're torn from me, cast away into darkness. I'm supposed to stay away from you or risk losing you forever. I can't do that, Usako. Forgive me for being selfish, but I can't live without you. The last two weeks have been tearing me apart."  
  
She felt tears slide down her cheeks as she turned her head to look him in the eyes. His gorgeous blues were filled with tears and two of them were sliding down his cheeks. She untangled one of her hands from his and raised it to cup one of his cheeks as her own tears slid downwards. She brushed the tears off his face gently with the pads of her thumbs and smiled at him through her tears. "Don't listen to your head next time Mamo-chan. Listen to your heart. It will always lead you back to me."   
  
The End.  
  
Author's notes: Feedback is nice, write me, let me know what you think! Thanks! :) I wrote this a couple of years back and it's been cleaned up some. Lemme know what you all think.  
  
Jademax@hotmail.com  
  
Thanks for reading!  
  
Jade_Max 


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